The pregnancy of recent vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s teen daughter Bristol has drawn much attention from the news media. From all reports, the Palins are handling the matter about as well as any family could, given their difficult circumstances. It is admirable that the young lady and her parents did not opt for an abortion as many would have in their shoes in our society. The parents did about the only thing parents can do when faced with this problem. They supported their daughter’s decision to raise the child, offered their help, and encouraged her to prepare herself for the responsibilities of parenthood – things like finishing her education so that she can provide a living for herself and the child.

From the interviews of Bristol that I have seen, she seems to be a bright and articulate young lady. She freely acknowledges that, while she loves her baby very much, it would have been much better to have waited until she was older and married. Her advice to other teenagers is that they should wait.

Yet when asked if such abstinence is realistic, she replied, "No, it is not realistic at all." In this she shows that she has bought into the idea that is so prevalent today in our society – that while abstinence may be the ideal we cannot expect our children to actually practice it in this sex charged society in which they live. A similar notion is also wide spread concerning victims of an unscriptural divorce being expected to live a celibate life. So, the refrain sounds loud and clear both scenarios – "it is just not realistic."

So, parents, school officials, and various public servants advocate providing contraceptives to kids as soon as they reach puberty because they really believe that abstinence is not a realistic choice. In the case of wrongfully divorced persons, since abstinence does not seem to be realistic, brethren have invented dubious methods of interpreting God’s marriage law to allow for a wrongfully divorced person to remarry – after all, surely God would not expect them to follow the "unrealistic" course of abstinence.

Is abstinence really that unrealistic? Was Paul being unrealistic, when he as an apostle of the Lord commanded "flee fornication?" (1 Corinthians 6: 18). When it comes to one’s "sex life," one is given only two choices. 1) abstinence or 2) a (God approved) marriage. (Hebrews 13:5; 1 Corinthians 7:2). No one says that celibacy is the easy option for young people. But to say that it is impossible or even unrealistic is to fly in the face of what God has commanded.

It requires constant vigilance to minimize temptation. When Paul said to flee fornication, he did not mean to hang around it, nor to flirt with it, nor invite it in – but to run away from it as fast as you can. He doesn’t mean to see how far you can go without "going all the way," because such a course usually results in going all the way. The consequences of "going all the way," is far more serious than a pregnancy or contacting an STD. It is sinning against the God of heaven and earth.

Involved in "fleeing fornication" is keeping oneself away from situations where it would be easy to lose self-control. Parents can go a long way in steering their children away from such dangerous situations by talking with them and making it their business to know the kind of things their children are involved in and with whom. They can also help provide occasions for their young "love birds" to enjoy time together with other folks being in close enough proximity to deter their becoming too intimate. The young people themselves, if they really want to please God, will stay away from situations where there would be a chance that they would lose control of their passions. They need to remind themselves that fornication (sex outside of marriage) can have many unwanted consequences in this life and will certainly have dire consequences if they should die (which can be anytime) without being forgiven of the sin. "Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Cor 6:9-10). It is no wonder that the apostle goes on down in verse 18 and says, "flee fornication."

Here are some things that young people can stay away from that will greatly improve their chances of avoiding being overcome by this soul damning sin:
1. Avoid wearing provocative clothing. Those who profess godliness are to wear modest clothing (1 Timothy 2:9). The wise man warned of those who wore "the attire of a harlot." (Proverbs 7:6ff).

2. Avoid provocative language, gestures, movies, TV, and literature. The natural desire of young couples for each other is strong enough without pouring such lethal fuel onto the fire.

3. Avoid prolonged close bodily contact, such as dancing and other ways of bringing bodies together in such close contact.

4. Last but by no means least, read and reread together what the Bible says about such matters. Passages like, Matthew 5:28, " But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart"; Romans 13:14, "... make no provisions for the flesh, to fulfill its lust." These verses and those that speak of "lasciviousness" are warning against things that lead to fornication. One dictionary that I have succinctly defines "lascivious" : "1. To lust; 2. To show lust; 3. To cause lust."

It is great when one recognizes what ought to be done, but it is even greater for one to recognize that it can be done. We all need to understand that what ever God commands and expects of us is realistic, is for our good, and that we should expect no less of ourselves and of those whom God has placed in our care – our children. Let us show compassion and understanding toward young people as they go through the difficult period of passing from childhood into adulthood. It is truly a trying time in their lives – even a confusing time. But let us also impress upon them that it is realistic to expect them to "flee youthful lusts" and to keep themselves pure (2 Timothy 2: 22; 1 Timothy 5: 22).

There is another thing that needs to be considered. As easy and pleasant as it is to be drawn into a premarital sexual relationship, it is just as hard for one to genuinely repent of it. It can and must be done, but it means that one must bring himself/herself to be sorry after a "godly sort" (2 Corinthians 7:11) and not just sorry because circumstances causes their sin to be exposed so as to disappoint others that care about them or brings them other unpleasant temporal consequences. If such consequences do not arise, because of the pleasure involved, once started it is awfully hard to bring one to be sorry enough to repent of it and stop its practice. A few years ago, during a gospel meeting that I was preaching in, a young lady came forward with tears streaming to confess her sinful relationship with her boyfriend. She told me later how hard it was for her to make that decision. She said, "It is just like getting a divorce." I believe she truly repented. Her case is unusual. Few are willing to give up the pleasure to please God. However, repentance, like abstinence, is realistic. It can be done or God would not have commanded it
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