After several years of observing successful grippers, I have concluded that maybe I am qualified to offer some tips to those who might want to succeed In the art of griping. Here are some proven hints that I have collected (having learned them purely from observation of course) which should make you the most successful gripper in your congregation:

1. Learn as little as you can about the Bible. This will help you not to get too disturbed about such passages as: “Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.” (I Cor. 10:10). Once that passage really gets to you, your griping days are over.

2. Learn to apply what you do know about the Bible only to the other person. This allows you to know enough about the Bible to answer some of the questions people might ask you -- but allows you to still use all your faultfinding time on other people.

3. Do not get disturbed about sin among members of the church. Do this and you can maintain a wide target area for your gripes. You can gripe about those who are concerned enough for the souls of men and women to “rebuke them sharply that they may be sound in the faith.” You may talk about how “hard” and “unchristian” the reproof is.

4. Accept no responsibility in carrying out the work of the church. It is much easier to gripe when when you are sitting on the side line without any responsibility. You see, it kind of works like the old maid telling folks how to raise their children.

5. Get as few facts as possible before passing Judgment. Facts only serve to confuse and might even take away your old spunk to gripe. Let our motto be: “Speak now, think later.”

 

6. Feed regularly upon gossip. Never let a telephone ring pass without swallowing at least a mouth full of gossip. You will be surprised at how many big complaints you can make from the smallest morsel of gossip.

We suggest that you clip this handy reference and attach it to the inside of your phone book, your TV guide, or the outside cover of your Bible. Then it can be seen easily and often, and you can be assured of being a successful gripper -without really trying.